Idealists love to be in love. They yearn to find their soulmate, the perfect one that’s meant for them. They believe in signs, destiny, romance, and true love. They love to love others, so they love to date. With each new relationship, there is the possibility that this might be the one. But, dating can be complicated for Idealists because they often find themselves disappointed with how reality does not match up with ideality. If they meet the one, they are elated until they find that the one isn’t the one anymore. They hope to feel a certain way when they meet the one, and when they do, they fall in love. This can be the start of growth as two become one, or it can also be short lived if they fall in love with who they imagined they’d meet rather than the person they’ve actually met. Idealists can overcome this, however, if they recognize that true love is not about finding that perfect someone, but rather, it is a journey of becoming soulmates together as they turn ideality into reality everyday.
The Idealist falls in love with the Artisan because they feel that they have finally met that person who is fully engaged with them. The Artisan lives in the here and now, so to the Idealist, the ever present Artisan can be intoxicating. They feel a kind of connection that touches the soul. The Idealist feels romanced and swept away. What often happens though is that they can misinterpret the Artisan’s presence as a deep soulful connection. Artisans are fully present because they love to play to the max. They play hard, because this is how maximum pleasure is accessed. Rather than engaging the soul, they are engaging the moment. The Artisan’s way of love is to be a playmate—to be drunk in the now. The Idealist’s way of love is to be a soulmate—to know and be known, and to be joined forever, to become one—in heart, soul, mind, spirit, and body. This scares the sh*% out of an Artisan if they’re not ready. Artisans see finding the one as finally settling down after they’re exhausted from all their playing. Idealists see finding the one as their lifelong dream.
The Idealist falls in love with the Guardian because they feel that they have finally met that person who provides safety for them. The Guardian strives to be honorable in all their ways, and this is something that Idealists find attractive. They feel that they have met someone who has all the essentials balanced—family, friends, fitness, and finances. What often happens though is that they misinterpret the Guardian’s stable life as the ideal that they themselves have yearned for. Guardians have things in order because they are utterly responsible and fear an unknown future. The Guardian’s way of love is to be each other’s helpmate—to find a partner to practically share the load. The Idealist lives for romance, to find their soulmate that is magically meant for them by the universe. The Guardian is looking for someone that they can go step-by-step with to the next stage of life. Though Guardians can be romantic, it’s the kind of romance that involves courtliness, and preparation with practical things like dinner reservations. But, the Idealist is longing for fairy tales, poetry, discussions on the meaning of life, tears and tragedy.
The Idealist falls in love with a fellow Idealist because they feel that they have finally met that person who they can discourse with heart to heart. When Idealists get together, it can often feel euphoric for quite some time because of a mutual longing that is seen and understood. Two Idealists can feel as though they are building sand castles in the sky together. What often happens though is that they can be in love with an idealized version of their romantic partner rather than the real person. They can see someone they’ve always imagined rather than the real person with all of their warts and flaws. Often Idealists will keep the bad and the ugly hidden from each other for as long as possible because they want to only reveal their most ideal selves. The Idealist’s mutual desire to be each other’s soulmate can only be fulfilled if the real person is embraced. To be truly authentic means to really see the other, and to be totally vulnerable. Partial authenticity is not authenticity. It is only when both of them can be naked together and unashamed, that there souls can be intertwined.
The Idealist falls in love with the Rational because they feel that they have finally met that person who understands them. The Rational is abstract like the Idealist, and additionally, they are highly analytical. The Idealist finds that the Rational is able to put into words how an Idealist feels, so they feel a kind of connection that makes them feel known. What often happens though is that they misinterpret the Rational’s ability to analyze them as deep, warm, soulful engagement, when it is actually a cooler objective analysis, where they are making a diagnosis, rather than sympathizing with a vulnerable expression and appeal for touch. Rationals are able to identify an Idealist’s feelings because they are good at organizing them. Rather than engaging the soul, they are making calculations. The Rational’s way of love is to be a mindmate—to articulate, debate, collaborate, and theorize together. The Idealist’s way of love is to be a soulmate—longing for heartfelt, (often emotional) exchanges. Rationals can often have a harder time engaging in this manner over the long-haul.