Artisans love to play games. It’s what makes life interesting. It’s what taps into the playful, thrilling, and lustful side of love. A life without games is dull, boring, and mundane. Whether it’s in the boardroom, or bedroom, in friendship or in romance, Artisans live for exhilaration. They live uninhibited, without borders, boundaries, or restrictions. They see that the past is gone, the future isn’t here yet, and so… they live fully in the present. “Carpe diem” (seizing the day) is not a philosophy for them, it is their nature. They can’t help but be this way. The rest of us have to remind ourselves to be deliberate about seizing moments. Artisans know no other way. So, what does this mean for the rest of us who are drawn to them? Well, dating them can be the most fun you’ll ever have in this life. Whether it be a one-night stand, or a life time of many-nights with a beloved Artisan, it’ll be a wild ride, but if you’re going to win one over for the night, or for a lifetime, you’ll need to know how to play the game.
When two Artisans get together, it can be exciting, adventurous, steamy, exhilarating, and even dangerous. This is where the ultimate game playing occurs. Smirks and seductive looks are exchanged. Artisans revel in the thrill of the chase. When thrills begin to cease, the fun disappears and boredom sets in, signaling that it’s time to move on. Chasing and being chased is where all the fun is. Artisans play the one-up competition all the time. It’s a psychological game of twister where it’s all about who’s got the upper hand. It’s about flirtation. It’s about teasing. It’s the allure. It’s about who’s winning or losing, using anything and everything with charm to get the other to fall hard, with no guarantees of reciprocation. Desire takes center stage, and each withholds anything that reveals vulnerability to the other. Who says, “I love you,” first matters. The most commitment phobic of all, Artisans feel a loss of power when they love. There is a push and pull, where emotions are toyed with, and manipulation occurs at all times (even when both are in love with each other. It’s just the way they connect.) It’s hot and cold, with distance and intimacy. It’s passionate and playful. Artisans use bait, get them to bite, and once they’re hooked, they reel them in, and once they’ve got them, they release. Two Artisans (or three) can be euphoric or destructive, because it is here that pleasure can take on a life of its own.
Guardians have the most amount of “Artisan-Envy,” which leads them to want to be like them, or to judge them harshly. Guardians have a love-hate relationship with their need to be responsible, dependable, and respectable. On the one hand, it makes them feel a little “square” at times, while it also can make them feel like they are more civilized, and better than everyone else. The Artisan’s wild and loose life makes them wish that they could also just let loose, and not feel the burden of needing to always be the “good one.” They wish that they could be the “bad-boy” or the “wild-girl” without being plagued with feelings of guilt or shame. Artisans love to instigate their Guardian interest by taking them on their wild ride. They find delight in tempting a Guardian to lose control. There’s a very satisfying feeling for the Artisan when they can take someone who is pure, innocent, and on the straight and narrow, and get them to pop all their cherries in life—to not be so imprisoned by their inhibitions. When a Guardian takes the wild ride of the Artisan and can wake up the next day without the psychological hangover of guilt, they can be awakened to a new reality, where they say to themselves, “Hey, what do you know, I’m not ruined. All those crazy things didn’t kill me, and it was a lot of fun. And no one thinks I’m a terrible human being.” Guardians can have a lot of fun once they realize that letting go isn’t going to lead to utter destruction. Due to their formal nature, Guardians don’t naturally play games. Their efforts to flirt, seduce, allure, or entice comes across with no surprise nor edge. In other words, they’ve got no game. The most opportune time for a Guardian to win an Artisan’s heart, is to be there when an Artisan comes crashing out of a wild and crazy relationship with another Artisan. It’s when the Artisan is sick and tired of the game, where they find the honorable Guardian attractive.
Both the Idealist and the Artisan are in pursuit of the “amazing.” This is where they have their common ground. There is a key difference worth highlighting though. When it comes to the Idealist’s pursuit, the amazing is about pursuing that which is unique, novel, and different, and when they encounter it, there is deep meaning. The amazing is a sign from the universe. For the Artisan, however, they see amazing as single events of euphoria. Temporary pleasures are simple with no strings attached. Idealists idealize the amazing, while Artisans see amazing as just another amazing. When an Idealist experiences amazing, they jump to, “OMG! I think this could be the one!” Idealists believe that ecstasy in the moment can only be explained by the destiny of possibly discovering their soulmate. For the Artisan, the same encounter is an awesome trip, and like any trip, it has an end. To win the Artisan, the Idealist needs to chill out and let the amazing be amazing in the here and now. They need to understand that feelings in the moment don’t need to be forever. This takes the pressure off, and leaves the potential for something more. When the Idealist discovers amazing, they are so deathly afraid of losing it; after all, if amazing means soulmate, pre-destiny, love of eternity, then the thought of such a loss is utterly devastating. But, when they understand the perspective of the Artisan, they can slow it all the way down, and just have a good time, and let the Artisan fool themselves into love, because amazing after amazing leads to a lifetime addiction which has no recovery.
Artisans and Rationals make the optimal partners in crime. They are both rebels by nature, (rebellious in their own ways) wanting to always go against the grain, to bend and break rules, question and challenge authority, and destroy the established order. The Artisan’s hedonism, combined with the Rational’s outside-the-box thinking can create the kind of duo that takes everything to a higher level. Artisans left to themselves are primal and their pursuit of pleasure is raw and barbaric. The Rational who buys into the Artisan finds new ways to take raw pleasure to levels which are preeminent. Artisans are the only ones who can really loosen up the Rational. They push Rationals to go all the way, to be full out. At the same time, they can get Rationals to chill out when the intensity gets too heated. Artisans find Rationals to be their greatest challenge because they’re the only ones who seem to be immune to their tactics. Rationals are cold, distant, and objective, so they can be unaffected by the Artisan’s alluring charm. A Rational either finds the Artisan amusing or annoying. They can derive a great deal of pleasure just watching the wildness of an Artisan, and are content to be the bystander voyeur. The Artisans love for freedom and the Rationals need for autonomy go well together, and the Artisans audacity combined with the Rationals ingenuity make them a dangerous pair, able to make some serious damage together. Rationals are content to watch the Artisan dance around with no inhibitions, and have no need to judge or to engage. Rationals just delight in watching their partner dive into all that is biological. The Rational wins over the Artisan with their cool, calm nature, and by facilitating challenges which are bigger, better, and outside of what they would otherwise conquer on their own.
It’s inevitable. You date a world-changer, and your world will change too. Maybe for better, or maybe for worse. Some will feel like it was the best decision of their lives, while others face deep regret.
Guardians make up most men and women on the planet. What are some misdynamics that Idealists, Artisans, and Rationals should know about when dating them?